The solution for dating and avoiding simping
In this article I talk about avoiding simping and focusing on your own interests through hybrid dating strategies....
Welcome back to the optimized blog it has been a while since I’ve written anything interesting but I believe I have something that is worth discussing and their is a huge pandemic going on and it is the perpetual modus operandi of simping. Simps are everywhere with where possible sexual access may possibly exist and it’s something I am increasingly realizing is a problem that men are facing. It’s a problem that is a chronic epidemic in society and one that is a problem because men do not know how to deal with women. We lack the availability and the understanding in how to deal with what should be a natural proclivity of being able to lead are female partners to effective ends. The reality is if your constantly simping like a bitch so you can simply get laid then you are a man who lacks substance. You have no implicit control or implicit value intrinsically that can reject your urges for a higher ideal. The reality is that simping unaccounted for gives guys a bad name across the board and creates damaged women which makes the entire dating pool and dating experience for all men crappy in general because we don’t hold other men accountable for their bullshit.
Furthermore, the reality is that dating these days needs to operate from a place of non-need. I’ve done a wide variety of stuff, I’ve done day-game, been in the field and done some sets, speed dating, bar hopping, drinking, dancing anything you can name I’ve done it. The reality is that dating in general is retarded in the terms of pure commitment to get your desired outcome. When a person simps they operate from a place of a clear lack of boundaries. They operate from a place where they are constantly idealizing young women who have accomplished next to nothing other than simply being beautiful. While, it’s not to say that not everyone young women has not accomplished anything most are being given a disproportionate amount of attention without having earned that given level of attention. The more you give away that given attention the overall general less valuable it is simply because it is so freely available without any conditions of cost. Dating I believe does not have to be a miserable experience if we operate on a few premises. The reality is sarah at the mall or gas station cashier isn’t going to be your dream girl. If your a dude with any degree of desirability or ambition then your naturally going to want your trophy wife. Your going to want something to get as your most optimal mate? Why would you want to settle for someone? Can you truly love someone authentically and to your best effort if you don’t feel like you’ve proved to yourself that you’ve gotten the best mate possible? The answer is probably not and it’s a difficult question that is not easily answered simply because you have to balance your own given expectations with your own idealistic reality of what your given preference is. The problem of simping first stems from the notion of not being able to set firm and strong boundaries and a perpetual neediness in attempting to get sexual availability without being firm in your own desires. An inability to be able to stop simping is quite a significant problem means you are going to be walked on with imputiny and your relationships can expect to suffer. The fact of the matter most relationships don’t work because you are not setting firm boundaries while being kind. Most people overcomplicate dating and attempt to add unnecessary layers of complexity to their social-interactions. The fact of the matter is that as long as you enforce your boundaries, set standards and adhere to them, you will tend to lead the relationship. It is implicitly not a necessity to simp or to try to give everything so you can attain an expectation in return.
To be a natural alpha leader in a relationship is mega easy if you aren’t a doormat, know how to say no and refuse to engage in dumb meaningless arguments. From my perspective in a healthy relationship it is not necessary to have chronic arguments. If your arguing over petty things and are concerned more about who is right than constructive ends you are going nowhere. The problem of simping is even worse because simps have no backbone. In their mind everything is acceptable. Everything is accepted precisely because you are coming from a place rather than a place of freedom. The reality is that simping is an epidemic that falls on the precarious dependency of intimacy over the prioritization of dignity and duty. When you have dignity, duty and standards you will reject pleasure for principles. Principles are the fundamental components or the software mechanisms by which that you operate in order to attain and live your optimal life. It is absolutely not necessary to do any type of simping to get what you desire. You will never respect yourself on any level if you do not have standards and reject pleasure for the standards that upholds your moral discipline to yourself and then to others. The reality is that a simp is never going to get his dream wife or dream lover because your lover is never going to respect you, if you are incapable of putting your foot down and having the ability of saying no. You need to be able to lead the relationship by having a strong sense of conviction in order to dictate a direction by which your lover can trust. If you have no degree of trust or degree of conviction then you stand for nothing and their is nothing to value because you have no depth in your belief nor your given convictions. In this given context, without a degree of acceptability and firmness your relationships will degenerate. The optimality in being able to operate and navigate complex social dynamics has to come from a firmness, confidence and being able to tell your girl no. Most guys struggle to say no so they end up being on the harsh end of a relationship. So if simping is not the answer then how can carve an effective strategy that comes from a place of respect, duty and discipline rather than simping.
The reality is that dating is a costly-time investment that does not necessarily lead to a high return on investment. The fact of the matter is that not being able to have an effective mechanism by which to vet a potential prospect means your wasting a significant amount of time that could go to other potential interests and activities that can perpetuate your life forward in a positive. In this context, then an optimal dating strategy is one in which requires you to be able to meet a wide-range array of prospects without an overcommitment in a given period of time investment. By being able to have this middle ground we allow ourselves the freedom of the burden of dating while getting the benefits of selection. The vast majority of people do not have significant array of mating prospects so they tend to pick the first to third mate prospect who gives any IOI’s(indicators of interest). In this given context, it cannot be considered reliable to settle for the first person you meet. This is likely suboptimal and is considered settling in the red pill community. Settling is unacceptable in my view and is not something that should be encouraged. A simple example is that if you work really hard then their should be some degree of entitlement of the fruits of your given labor accordingly. To settle for a lesser option is the equivalent of discrediting the hard-work in developing yourself. This is precisely why when you see an NFL football player it’s stupidly common to see them with super model girlfriends or wives. Why? Simple, they have invested a significant amount of investment in terms of capabilities, discipline, work ethic by which assures them a wide-arrange of dating availability of women that most typical men cannot get. Thus, success is going to be the simplest attraction tool but for an average guy it’s impractical to be in the NFL.
So what then is the best strategy? The best strategy is likely what I call a hybrid strategy. This is an alignment between success, having an interesting life, confidence and capabilities. How does one integrate this into a unified strategy with minimal effort? From my perspective it first comes from developing your own latent desires. This means doing uncommon things that the average person is simply never going to do. This means lifting weights religiously, staying disciplined, staying stoic, focusing on the present and having varied experiences. What I mean by varied experiences is experiencing a wide-range of things that easily integrate that make you an interesting person which affords you to have numerous types of stories that you can tell other people about. Experiences affords wisdom, insight, understanding to be able to integrate to a wider-outcome for your dating prospects which is either kids or marriage. This is what I call passive game. We don’t approach almost ever and we concern ourselves with actualizing our dream life reality and eliminating anything that could cause or inhibit this prospective development. Thus, in this given prospect we are developing capabilities, developing and living wide-range of experiences, focusing on developing our brotherhood social circles and deepening our influence. Examples of interesting experiences are: traveling abroad, going skiing, snowboarding, doing jujitsu, going to chess tournaments, focusing on developing ourselves through distance running or attending conferences are all indirect ways of meeting high quality women while filtering out those that don’t meet your standards. It also reduces any possibility of simping. You are not seeking out anyone per se other than developing an interesting life purely for yourself and in doing so this increase your prospects of having a mate accordingly. Next, we are also open to what I call select-day game. In other-words, I advocating approaching only when their is an insane amount of chemistry and lots of IOI’s(indicators of interests) along with strong vibes. In doing so are day-game approaches are close to 100% and we do not waste anytime. Also, in day game you should ask basic questions, what’s your work, what do you do?, what’s your dating history?, hobbies?, passions?, desires? and in doing so you can quickly filter out this prospect so you don’t waste time. Finally, we run a instagram-dating app strat of developing a good personal brand along with meeting and developing prospects of instagram and dating apps. Swipe on dating apps —> get instagram —> message —> set up date —> escalate accordingly. In this multipronged strategy your ability to meet desirable prospects is near 100% simply because you have a multi-dimensional approach.
50% of your dating prospects ought to come from your lifestyle, 49% from dating apps, 1% from dating apps. By doing this you assure yourself a huge success in a wide-variety of mates who are high-quality, wife, mother material who stand to over you the best children, good agreeability, minimal divorce rates, reliable love-making and consistent emotional companionship? Who would not want this? So what do you have to lose? Nothing other than laziness and the hard-work that stands in front of you. I can say with strategy, I can be lazy. I don’t have to approach anyone, I don’t need to waste my time approaching girls when I can just focus on my goals and I can still selectively approach girls. Notice, that in this strategy we draw our dating prospects from multiple places while focusing exclusively on our goals. Developing those goals→ achieving those girls && stories—> leads to successful hot girls you want. So don’t be a dummy and go in the mall to talk to some random person. That person literally does NOT know you and she isn’t going to be your soul-mate. Se is literally just there to buy some shoes and that’s it. Some serious PUA’s, MPUA’s(Master pickupartists) will argue that day-game is still the way to reliable fun. I will argue you could theoretically meet more prospects on average but your entire time investment is based on socal-skill dynamics. It is not necessary to do mass-approaching only early on in your dating career. For maybe 2 years max does day-game make sense. You will learn approaching, how to handle rejection and escalation. Beyond that, their is no super-human skill to really learn other than advanced social dynamics(ross jefferies) however, it’s simply not necessary to learn a skill of that caliber for 99% of guys.
Once you have the basic notions of being friendly, jovial, being a good listener you can focus on other objectives. Thus, this is my prescription if your looking to avoid simping while meeting your ideal prospect. Develop and cultivate an interesting life, develop one of capability, confidence, understanding, nuance and understanding. Focus on the upsides and limit your downsides. Don’t obsess but don’t fret. Accept your limitations, develop a life for yourself and those who come into your life our a compliment. Be LAZY with dating. The biggest mistake I feel most people make is putting way too much effort into dating. Stop trying to impress but impress yourself for yourself rather than for ourselves and you will impress others by being friendly of external validation. Approach when it makes sense but don’t be the mall stalker who’s super needy and approaches 100 girls thinking they learned social-skills. Approach once a month at most and only when it absolutely makes sense. I approach almost never because their are few to no situations where I wish to approach. I simply have better things to do. What would you rather be known for having a cool life or spending your time chasing tail? Cool life> chasing tail. Your online game lets your prospects know about your cool life and she will likely come into your life by simply developing the components of a man who’s cool to be around. In doing so I am absolutely certain you will get your dream wife-dream girl. STOP TELEGRAPHING your APPROACHES. Stop being so predictable. Be unpredictable, be unconventional and don’t be like every other guy. Develop your OWN dating methodology, that is LAZY, minimal effort and maximally effective. I would rather get my person to enter my life and get 20 phone numbers while I am sleeping because I am so fucking cool while the other dude looks like a dummy by driving and clubbing everyday for 1-2 numbers and wasting his day when he could work on his rocket ship. What’s cooler working on the rocket ship for your OWN interest or approaching random strangers you don’t know and who don’t care about you? I know for a fact that the rocketship satisfies my needs while a meaningless approach is dependent on external validation. PICK the rocketship and let them come to you and approach selectively. In doing so you will come closer to living the optimized life. I hope this helps.
P.s for the love of god STOP SIMPING…You guys who simp give guys a bad name.