My approach to masculinity

Welcome back to the optimized blog and today I discuss masculinity.

Welcome back it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything and today I intend to go over some of the tenets of what I believe masculinity ought to be in a world of ever evolving genders, safe spaces and inconsistent messages from the world of propaganda. Masculinity for most men is actually quite simple but very hard to do in practice. I know as someone who does not consider himself a man that it is an iterative journey. It’s a journey that requires alot from you but is more than worth the effort. Master your masculinity as a dude and you will become ever close to peak optimization. So what are my tenets of masculinity?

1. Have a robust capability to protect a woman This is pretty simple but it’s literally never going to be obsolete in that a women is always going to want to have some desire to feel safe and secure. The more secure she feels the more confident and more to herself she can be when she knows you have the capability of protecting her. Is it really a cliche that women like tall muscular men? No, it’s actually quite practical. A strong, muscular tall man can protect her in case creeps stalk her or in case her children are attacked. So you need to be a man of capability in terms of violence. You ought to be able to beat the fuck out of someone if required. I am not suggesting you seek out violence. I am not suggesting you be an asshole or try to bully people. Just simply train yourself to effectively through a punch or have a few basic takedowns when necessary. Have proficiency with a firearm and be able to use it when necessary. Most average humans are not even remotely capable of violence let alone trained correctly. Having the ability of giving her assurance and security is a masculine trait that will always be in demand and will give you access to the hottest women. It’s hot and it turns women on. If you want to be a truly masculine dude you should be able to beat the snot out of someone if he disrespects your girl. You are capable of violence if necessary but you don’t seek it.

2. Have a sense of Honor: This one is pretty basic but have a sense of honor and fairness. Be fair to others and they will be fair to you. Treat people on an even playing field and people will tend to give you that same level of respect. Have honor and standards for yourself. Don’t involve yourself in stupid petty arguments or debates that don’t evolve to anything. I’ve had debates and told them I am not interested in continuing this discourse further because I don’t argue. I honor my time, capabilities and goals to do other things. Be honorable. People will respect that

3. Have a sense of Duty: Be a dutiful person who operates out of a sense of duty in what is proper. Help others when necessary not because of what you get but because it is the right thing to do. If a women is hurt help her, if someone weak is being bullied stop them, if a robber is stealing stop them. Be a good pedestrian and be dutiful to those around you. If you have a father be a good son and do your duties as a son and a father. Care for your father and show love. Be a father and be present because it’s your moral duty to do what’s right. When we base our actions on the moral law we will find a life that is congruent towards one worth living.

4. Be Honest; This one may get flack but I have always prided myself on being forward and objectively calling out bullshit. If something is bullshit say it exactly like it is. Men have the burden of calling out bullshit when women want to be nice. Not all women will say exactly what’s on their mind and might dance around the subject. You need to be clear and concise. Sometimes it has to be if you don’t stop I will stop you. Call it out and relieve the tension. Be direct and be objective. Don’t insult and don’t be condescending but make it clear and to the point. Clarity comes from honesty. It is masculine to be direct.

5. Control Your Lust: This one is super super freaking hard as a dude. Obviously, we all would love to sleep around with an innumerable number of women. Obviously, it’s enjoyable but this is a dark path that lead you to following off your masculine duty. It is fine to lust but you have to keep it in an appropriate context. It’s fine to look at the opposite sex but keep it in perspective. Don’t lust unnecessarily as this again damages your masculine frame that your the fucking man. You will meet JAW dropping beautiful women. I’ve met them their insanely beautiful but don’t lose your level head.

6. Be impartial and empathetic. Alot of dudes think it’s cool to be a jackass asshole to everyone but it’s not. I believe I’ve mastered the ability of impartiality. I am a fair person. I am willing to consider many points of view and am open to being proven wrong. It is masculine as a man to be willing to be told that your flawed. It’s masculine to be able to empathize with others and understand not everyone sees the world the way you do. Be open to hearing counter perspectives, analyze respond and learn. I am open to hearing everyone and to being challenged but willing to limit it when it doesn’t make sense. When we are impartial as men we make ourselves people who can make just choices in the face of evil. A masculine man tries to be fair, punishing and just to those who carry out destruction. We respect him because make impartial fair justice is incredibly hard to do.

7. Confidence through competence/Niche: Build that confidence through a niche or an area your passionate about. Have strong goals and beliefs that you want to see implemented. Have a strong vision of where you want to go and explain how you want to get there. People will follow those who strive to be better but acknowledge their flaws.

8. Lead from the back: Don’t seek leadership but let it come to you. I don’t ascribe to the title of any leader but rather work towards uplifting others and try to assist in being helpful. If I am given a leadership role I don’t let the power get to my head. I attempt to be fair and acknowledge that I myself am still working to improve. Be like dumbeldore. Don’t seek leadership let others bestow power onto you without you seeking it. When you don’t seek power power will come to you effortlessly. I am fine not leading and am always certain to not let it go to my head.

9. Acknowledge your flaws: No man is perfect and no personality can encompass every domain. Everyone is flawed and has shortcomings. I know I am not everything I could be and by acknowledging my flaws I make myself approachable and human so I am relatable to others.

10. Know when to be lighthearted and soft: The contradiction of being a man is you can’t be a warrior 24/7 know when to turn off the warrior and to be warm and then know when to reactivate your strong self when needed. A true man can cuddle a baby change his diapers and beat the fuck out of his adversary in a snap of a second.

11. Distribute credit to others than before yourself: Give credit to others before you claim credit. Give credit where credit is and others will tend to support you and give opportunity if your willing to improve.

12. Be Loving: Know how to give affection to your wife or spouse. Give her affection, constant affirmation and assurement. Give love and love fiercely. Hug and hug well. Be warm and affectionate. This is something I am still learning myself.

13. Be stoic: Don’t react to your emotions but respond to them acknowledge them and stay the course in despite of your unreliable emotional state.

14. Show Grief and emotion: Their was a time when my friend roy died and I yelled profusely. I was in terrible pain and I felt those emotions strongly. In that moment I acknowledge my emotion and my loss. I acknowledged that I feel and I am entitled to feel those feelings. I cried because I loved him very much. I was shocked and in denial. When someone dies it is not weak to show your feelings but rather it is strength in how much strength you loved others and how much you tried to do better. I remember walking out the door and got a phone he died. I was shocked. I was bewildered. I was supposed to be stoic but sometimes we have to acknowledge loss than to pretend like nothing is wrong. This makes you human, strong and compassionate to support others from your masculine frame.

15. Aggression: Show your aggression and desire to attack your foe. Learn to show no mercy to those who seek to do harm. Learn to attack and learn when to wait Aggression is apart of the masculine frame. Channel it and use it in the face of struggle.

16. Be contemplative. A masculine man is a mindful man that never loses sight of the bigger reality. Sometimes in the army, I reflect on my real objectives through the day to day minutia of every day life. I never forget the longer term vision. I never lose sight of the greater vision. I know where i need to go and why I am doing what I am doing. I contemplate greater questions and in so doing I can be a better man.

The process of being a man is a strong, long and iterative process but if you follow these tenets I can assure you that everyone will thank you for it. Others will acknowledge and appreciate the type of man you are. You don’t need to be perfect and you don’t need to everything but if you are striving towards your masculine frame you will feel like a man and feel like a capable person who can help others, yourself and your family in need. To be optimized means to master all aspects of one self and that is your masculinity. This my masculine philosophy: What’s yours and why?